For Pike The Polar Bear’s 30th birthday, the San Francisco Zoo brought in some snow. You could say she was pretty excited about it.
This halloween I taped a sign saying COMMUNISM in red on my chest and handed out one piece of candy for each kid and if they complain I say, “Well, look at that you just learned about Communism.” One dad already gave me a dirty look.
stop my mom made me take it off because one little girl demanded more candy and I said “whoa calm down, capitalism”
So I found a hilarious new book yesterday…
Some choice lines so far:
CAN WE PLEASE JUST APPRECIATE THE PEN NAME??
WILLIAM CODPIECE THWAKERY
OH MY GOD“IT’S POVERTY”
BEST PARODY YET